


How Dare We Get This Far

by OTPTillTheEnd



Category: Marvel, Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Compliant, F/M, her last name is ROMANOVA bye, sort of comic canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:15:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22483981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OTPTillTheEnd/pseuds/OTPTillTheEnd
Summary: Five years of marriage thrown out the window. Just like that. With a single signature all the memories they had together, tossed out like yesterdays garbage. But it never really is that simple, is it?
Relationships: Natasha Romanov & Alexei Shostakov | Alexi Shostakov, Natasha Romanov/Alexei Shostakov | Alexi Shostakov, Natasha Romanova & Alexei Shostakov, Natasha Romanova/Alexei Shostakov
Kudos: 4





	How Dare We Get This Far

**Author's Note:**

> Karl Urban as Alexei Shostakov and Rebecca Ferguson as Natasha Romanova

Her body felt heavy and it was as if her heart would beat right out of her chest. The words rang loudly, ears ringing, bloody pounding and yet she managed to keep herself together; perseverance sewn into her sinews.

How had it come to this? How had _they_ come to this? Five years ago, she could vividly remember getting married, feeling as if she was going to explode from how much she loved him. She _still_ loved him. _How can I still love him? Why do I still love him?,_ she thought as tears streamed down her cheeks. Body shaking as she silently cried in the kitchen. White knuckled grip on the sinks edge did not waver, as if that was the only thing keeping her together. As if without that tight hold, she would simply fold in on herself and disappear.

A soft purr came from somewhere behind her and soon after, Liho was at her feet nuzzling her ankles. The attention (a call _for_ attention really) had tears streaming faster down her cheeks, body racked with silent sobs. How had they gotten here? How had she not seen the signs sooner?

* * *

The early morning light woke her and reality set in soon after. _I’m getting divorced,_ she thought as hands ran down her face, fingers rubbing at her tired and swollen eyes. Getting up from the couch, she knew that Alexei had not come home. And she was not sure how that made her feel. But that did not matter right now, she needed a shower and to change out of yesterdays clothes.

Turning the coffee pot on, Natasha made her way out of the kitchen and up the stairs. She showered and cried, wondering over and over how they had gotten to this point. And even as she dried herself off and dressed, she kept wondering, going back over the past five years of their lives. But of course, she knew when it had all gone south. When one would spend weeks overseas, each going to sleep alone hoping that the other side would somehow be less cold in the morning.

Missions had taken president over one another, late nights in the office replaced dinner dates and soon they were walking about the house like roommates. Only saying a few words over a rushed breakfast, wanting to beat the other out the door.

With her hair dried, bare feet carried her down the stairs and down the hall, only to stop just shy of the kitchen. Blue eyes met his dark gaze before flickering down to the manila envelope that sat a top the kitchen island.

“You move fast.” Not bothering to hide the razor-sharp edge to her voice, she moved towards him.

“There’s no point in stalling this.”

“Clearly this was a one-sided situation.” And damn did that hurt. It hurt knowing how easily he was willing to forget these five years. It was as if they had not meant anything to him.

“One sided? Talia you know that is not true. I loved you. Damnit I still do.” Alexei’s gruff voice rose at the end, as if he could not believe it was still true. “But our jobs make this impossible and we are both too prideful and stubborn to quit them.”

“If you loved me you would not have rushed to get those stupid papers!” Natasha could feel herself emotionally unraveling but she was not going to try and reign in her emotions.

All Alexei could do was reach for her, reach for his beloved and pull her to him. Strong arms wrapping around her, a kiss was pressed to the side of her head. “A man could freeze to death hoping to warm himself on your heart, Natalya.”

Pushing him away, tears blurred her vision before spilling down her cheeks. “Fuck you, Alexei Shostakov! Fuck you!”

_How dare he! How dare he repeat the words he had told her so long ago._

Natasha scrawled her signature on the designated line before throwing the pen at him. Anger and hurt evident on her features, even as her blue gaze turned to ice. “I am not the person I used to be. I _love_ you and probably will for years to come. You say my heart is made of ice, then you are the summer sun that melts it.”

Without another word, the Widow made her way out of the kitchen and out the front door of the home they shared. Liho right behind her as the door was slammed shut.

It was only then that Alexei allowed himself to cry, her elegant penmanship on that dreaded black line like a knife to his soul.

 _This is the only way,_ he thought to himself as he too signed the papers. This was the only way. Tomorrow morning, he would be landing in Russia, ready to fight the war that was espionage for his country. He would rather see Natalia angry and hurt than see betrayal in her eyes.

She had defected whereas he had simply followed his heart. His loyalty however had remained in their country. His heart however, would remain with her. _Always._

**Author's Note:**

> Picturing Karl as Alexei is literally how this came about. But picture whoever you want really. And as you can tell from the tags, I do not know what timeline this is set in. Anyway, feedback is 100% encouraged!


End file.
